Daniela's Wedding Speech

Daniela’s R&T Wedding Speech (aka the Best Man Speech)

At this time I would like to make a toast to Trevor’s family – many of whom have come a long way to show their support for Rainer and Trevor. For their love throughout Trevor’s childhood and for their presence here today which I know means an awful lot to both Rainer and Trevor.

Here’s to Carl, Irene, Trevor’s twin Trent, Shane, Jason, his wife Therese and their children Zoë and Ethan.

I first met Trevor 12 years ago in grade 11 at St. Ignatius of Loyola High School. And to be honest, I wasn’t very fond of him. He seemed to me an arrogant suck up with implausible ideas, and was trespassing on my territory. And to add insult to injury, every girl in the school got a sticker with Trevor’s name on it - except me. Turns out I was looking at him through insecure eyes. This stranger from Thornhill actually possessed a fierce confidence, an overwhelming ability to be charitable and an indestructible sense of idealism.

We would spend the next three years working closely together on Arts Loyola Live (Loyola’s Arts Council), on countless Mainstage musicals and Sears entries and Artsnites, fundraising in old smokey bingo halls. It was the time of our lives. It also came with its share of betrayals, heartaches, bitter fights with parents and a loss of innocence. But that would not be Trevor’s defeat. He set out with his big dreams in toe and accomplished every one of them. Trevor always said he didn’t want much from life, but he wanted it very badly. Trevor, you are well on your way to getting all you’ve ever wanted – and I’m sitting on the sidelines rooting for you.

I’ve know Rainer for exactly half of my life. He sparked a passion in me I was afraid I did not possess and opened up a world of possibilities. He gave me all the knowledge and experience I thirsted for. Naturally I became somewhat possessive. So surely you can understand the threat Trevor posed in my life. I did what any respectable, loyal friend would do. I threatened Trevor with his life…at knife point. I said “ God help you Trevor, if you hurt him, I will hunt you down.” He took it in stride like he always does and from that day forward we developed a deep respect for one another and to this day solemnly stand by our oaths. Trevor – to always honour Rainer and I – to hunt him down if he doesn’t.

Over the years Trevor, you have become an irreplaceable part of my life. You have shown me love, honesty, and vulnerability and taught me that adventure is just around the corner. We’ve shared our deepest intimacies and darkest secrets; we’ve celebrated our accomplishments and mistakes. We still have our differences – that is, I am still waiting for my sticker, but I wouldn’t want them with anyone else

Today is a victory. What could possibly be more magnificent than witnessing two of your dearest friends find soul mates in each other? It is a gift to whom only a few are privileged. Rainer and Trevor, your honesty and courage are inspiring. You are a model and example of love and commitment.

The words I want to say have already been written in the movie “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?” Spencer Tracy said it best when he gave his blessing to his soon to be married daughter….

“….In the final analysis it doesn’t matter a damn what we think. The only thing that matters is what you feel, and how much you feel, for each other. And if it is half of what any of us have felt – that’s everything. As for the problems you’re going to have, they seem almost unimaginable, but you will have no problem with me. But I’m sure you know what you’re up against. There’ll be 100 million people right here in this country who will be shocked and offended and appalled, and the two of you will just have to ride that out, maybe every day for the rest of your lives. You could try to ignore those people, or you could feel sorry for them and for their prejudice and their bigotry and their blind hatred and stupid fears, but where necessary you’ll just have to cling tight to each other and say “screw all those people!” Anybody could make a case against your getting married. But you’re two wonderful people who happened to fall in love, and I think that now, no matter what kind of a case some bastard could make against your getting married, there would only be one thing worse, and that would be if - knowing what you two are and knowing what you two have and knowing what you two feel – you didn’t get married.”

Ladies and gentlemen, a toast to my very best friends Rainer and Trevor. May your commitment and courage withstand any storm.

Daniela Carnevale